So sitting in the same media tute I am left in a daydreaming daze. On a mind-numbing monday I think of the weekend.
Revue was a collection of skits that went well. The after parties were great and everyone had a good time, now is the time for assignments and working like crazy. Funnily I am not thinking of this.
On friday I had a visit from an ex who doesn't understand that she can't get everything and after fucking me over she does not get the fact that I don't want to hang out with her or even see her at all. If I'm around her I feel like a retard, so obviously I shouldn't be around her. Anyway she came around and sat in my room for ages, and the whole time I was wondering if I should be a complete asshole and kick her out, or be nice and entertain her for a while.
This happened again when she visited me last night after she had a bad day at work. Now i had worked that day as well, it had sucked. We had been understaffed, unbeleivably busy and we were all tired with headaches and running on nothing. So when I came back I felt like shit, and she was feeling the same. However, she came into my room and proceeded to to tell me all sorts of crap about her day, not even giving a shit about me. Looking back I shouldn't have even let her in the door. Friends of mine happily walked in and took some of the tension off as i was quet most the time, not knowing what to say. Eventually she left, which was great. But I thought hard, I really disliked her at the time, but no matter how much people pissed me off, I knew what a crap day can do to somene, so i went over to her room and gave her a hug.
But as I lay in bed that night, couldn't sleep, I kept thinking that I should have not given her anything and told her to get the fuck out
Now reviewing it all, the asshole option seams more suiting in retrospect. I now realise she doesn't deserve anything and should just not even give her the chance. But I'm wondering if I am just too nice and let her in, or if I just don't have it in me to be a complete asshole.
It may too soon to give all this personal shit away, but I beleive venting is healthy, and its been pisisng me off for a while.
Anyway people I will be back with a happier blog soon.
J.
Revue was a collection of skits that went well. The after parties were great and everyone had a good time, now is the time for assignments and working like crazy. Funnily I am not thinking of this.
On friday I had a visit from an ex who doesn't understand that she can't get everything and after fucking me over she does not get the fact that I don't want to hang out with her or even see her at all. If I'm around her I feel like a retard, so obviously I shouldn't be around her. Anyway she came around and sat in my room for ages, and the whole time I was wondering if I should be a complete asshole and kick her out, or be nice and entertain her for a while.
This happened again when she visited me last night after she had a bad day at work. Now i had worked that day as well, it had sucked. We had been understaffed, unbeleivably busy and we were all tired with headaches and running on nothing. So when I came back I felt like shit, and she was feeling the same. However, she came into my room and proceeded to to tell me all sorts of crap about her day, not even giving a shit about me. Looking back I shouldn't have even let her in the door. Friends of mine happily walked in and took some of the tension off as i was quet most the time, not knowing what to say. Eventually she left, which was great. But I thought hard, I really disliked her at the time, but no matter how much people pissed me off, I knew what a crap day can do to somene, so i went over to her room and gave her a hug.
But as I lay in bed that night, couldn't sleep, I kept thinking that I should have not given her anything and told her to get the fuck out
Now reviewing it all, the asshole option seams more suiting in retrospect. I now realise she doesn't deserve anything and should just not even give her the chance. But I'm wondering if I am just too nice and let her in, or if I just don't have it in me to be a complete asshole.
It may too soon to give all this personal shit away, but I beleive venting is healthy, and its been pisisng me off for a while.
Anyway people I will be back with a happier blog soon.
J.
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